I’m just going to confess up front that apart from taking this photo for my blog, I’ve never worn this dress anywhere. It’s in perfectly new condition.
I feel certain that this frock suits someone, alas that someone is not me.
All I can say is what was I thinking? Except… I know all too well what I was thinking.
Something along the lines of… hmmm… Boden, I do like Boden. Oh it’s on sale, how marvellous. And it’s a stretchy size 22 so it will probably fit. Just.
There’s a bit too much floral but with tights, boots, cardigan and a belt it could work. And it’s so, so hard to find clothes at my size right now….
And I do like Boden ever so much. And it’s on sale….
CLICK – Add to cart.
From the bottom up, there are a many things going wrong with this. I’ll just call #frumpy right here and now and get that one out of the way.
The frill around the hem. This feature *might* look good, if I was a foot taller. But at 158cm, there is nothing flattering about this.
A very frumpy waist line held in by skinny material tie belt, with way too much fabric above and below the waist. Admittedly by the time I took this photo circa 90kg, this dress was swimming on me. But when I bought it, it was skin tight. Those poor little flowers didn’t stand a chance as they stretched out all misshapen over my body at the time.
But a dress that falls straight down, with no waist to speak of other than a skinny tie belt? This is just not for my body. I have hips, boobs and a waist so I need frocks that have in bits and out bits or a cut that either follows my shape or creates the illusion of shape.
And oh my, the fabric. I’m a London girl at heart so I’m rather partial to a British print and all things floral (I have much love reserved in my life for Cath Kidston), but this one was too much even for me. Especially sans my London get up of cardigans, coats, scarves, boots and tights which would have toned that floral right back down to passable.
Also. The vibe. I don’t do that modern-hippy, boho Nina Proudman thing (I’ve never seen an episode of Offspring by the way but I see a lot about it in fashion spreads). It’s just not me. I feel like it’s a fashion style for tall people. Boho chic and flowing things make me feel like humpty dumpty. I prefer modern preppy and glam. Something more like this:
Moving on up, the neckline. This is a nothing neckline. Not high, not low – just – nothing. Universally unflattering. Maybe it would be better now I have the semblance of collar bones to add some shape and angles in there.
To add a final insult to fashion injury – PUFFY SLEEVES that GATHER at the WRIST. How to add 5kg to your look in one easy step. #brilliant
Don’t get me wrong, I think everyone should wear exactly what they like and what makes them feel good. Unfortunately, this frock didn’t do either for me.
So let’s just pop this one in the ‘what was I thinking’ pile and say no more about it.
And that, my frock friends, is frock #2.