Frock friends, I’ve been putting off sharing this one, but as I stood, butt naked bar a scanty paper g-string being spray tanned by one of the delightful ladies at Lush Tan Beauty this morning, I knew it was time to confess all here.
You see, on Saturday, just two short days from now, I’m off to Sydney for the day.
To take part in a photo shoot.
For New Idea!
It’s for their new year weight loss inspiration special, with a group of ladies who’ve all lost more than 30kg.
So far, so exciting right?
But back to the spray tan.
Because – the catch is – I have to wear bathers.
Yes, I’m shouting.
I’ve always said that these opportunities to inspire others are so very welcome, but that getting down to my smalls(!) was never going to happen.
Pretty damn close to underwear quite frankly.
I get some sage advice
Being unable to make this decision on my own (my inner fat girl was screaming NOOOOOOOOOO…..), I had to consult with the women in my life.
My sister Claire:
“You’ll just have to get a little more comfortable with being uncomfortable.”
Blunt, but point well made. Have to love family for the direct approach.
My friend Jade:
“I think you should do it. You should be f***ing proud of yourself. Seriously dude. New f***ing Idea. They will take great pics. You have lost FORTY F***NG KILOS – I’m so excited for you.”
My friend Felicity:
“Your story should be shared. You can really help other people and I genuinely think that it would be both brave and cool.”
My friend Leanne:
“DO IT. Be proud. They will make sure it’s done well. I think the idea of it might feel weird but in the end you will think ‘good on me – that’s awesome’. Because it goes like this:
My PT & Wellness Coach Chris:
“Will they make you wear a g-string?”
Um… not helpful Christopher.
The decision is made
And so, bolstered by the women in my life, I said yes and decided to think of it no more until the time rolled around.
And here we are.
Here’s the thing. I love what I’ve done and how I feel.
40kg off my body feels amazing. And at a size 14-16 I’m now average.
I’ve NEVER been average. It’s terrifically exciting.
And I’m loving my life more and more every day.
But that’s quite removed from being photographed in my bathers and published in a national magazine. I’m all good with getting my bathers on at the beach or the pool with friends (I didn’t used to be), but this is confronting on a whole new level.
I’m still on the path, I have up to 20kg more to lose, so I’m not exactly the typical ‘after’ shot.
Because I’m not done yet. And I’m not sure I’ll ever be ‘done’ as such, even after I lose the rest of the weight because maintaining it will be a whole new learning lesson all over again.
My body is definitely showing the wear and tear of weight loss (well, weight gain and then loss). My skin isn’t amazing, my stretch marks could be an artwork on their own and I’m one very pale English rose.
However I think perhaps that’s okay.
I hope that the ladies with big amounts of weight to lose, who are in those scary three digit numbers like I was, can take some inspiration from my story all the same, because it’s definitely about the journey and not the end point; getting started and not giving up.
I am duly spray tanned in a rather fabulous shade of sunkissed. Laser hair removal has been in play for some time so there’s no emergency *situation* to deal with there (Paddington Laser Lounge in Brisbane are amazing by the way). My hair was recently cut and coloured. Manicure and pedicure tomorrow.
And after that, it’s just a matter of holding my nerve.
Thank you to you, lovely ladies
So this one’s for all of the great women in my life who have been so incredibly supportive of my healthy living project; my sister Claire, my lovely Mum, my Aunty Gail, girlfriends Jade, Leanne, Felicity, Melinda, Mary, Mandy, Kate and Helen, my London girls, the great ladies I work out with at the gym who squealed with delight upon finding out what I was up to on Saturday, the fabulous women on my Facebook page and of course you, Frock Friends and readers of my blog.
I’m taking my strength on this one from all of you.
Thank you for your beautiful words of support over the past 20 months during what has been an epic lifestyle change, and wish me luck!
I’ll post some pics on Instagram and Facebook as the day unfolds.
And PS…. I have no idea exactly what I’ll be wearing but if they bring out a two piece all bets are off, I’m doing a runner.
Tell me Frock Friends, how do you feel the fear and do it anyway or get comfortable with being uncomfortable? Do share!